Review: Nuts by Alice Clayton

Posted 20 October, 2015 in Reviews / 2 Comments

Review: Nuts by Alice ClaytonTitle: Nuts
Series: Hudson Valley #1
Author: Alice Clayton
Genres: Contemporary Romance, Romantic Comedy
Release Date: October 20, 2015
Amazon (affiliate link) • Goodreads


Disclosure: I received a review copy of this book for free in exchange for an honest review. Read more

About Nuts:

From New York Times bestselling author Alice Clayton, the first in a brand-new romance series telling the humorously sexy tale of Roxie, a private chef who gets a taste of love—but is it to stay, or to go?

After losing almost all of her clients in one fell swoop following an accident involving whipped cream, private chef to Hollywood’s elite Roxie Callahan gets a call from her flighty mother, saying she’s needed home in upstate New York to run the family diner. Once she's back in the Hudson Valley, local organic farmer Leo delivers Roxie a lovely bunch of walnuts, and soon sparks—and clothing—begin to fly. Leo believes that everything worth doing is worth doing slowly…and how! But will Roxie stay upstate, or will the lure of West Coast redemption tempt her back to Tinseltown?
Related Books: Rusty Nailed, Screwdrivered, Wallbanger (Audiobook), Cream of the Crop, Roman Crazy, Buns


I’m so sorry, Simon Wallbanger.

I cheated on you.

Well, I’ve done that before. Whoa boy, have I done that before, and I’m not even sorry. With the other men in your series. But I was keeping it in the family, you know? Which either makes it better or worse, I’m not sure…

But now, no.

And it’s not just a fling. It’s real and it’s deep (hehe).

Lord do I worship Alice Clayton. And for good reason. I’ve still been a Will and Grace fan for too long and have to change the names of Jack and Grace in my head to make it believable for me. But other than that, her books are perfect.

And you know I don’t say that about books.

Some have had their moments for me, but she’s one of the authors that I consistently go gaga over. The kind where I can’t even really rank my favorite books because there will be 3 tied for first and 5 tied for second.

Now, to talk about Nuts. What we’ve all been waiting for. Because who doesn’t like talking about Nuts?

(Dear those with nut allergies, just go along with my jokes for the remainder of this post. I hope you’re not allergic to nutty jokes, too! Christ, I’m corny.)

First of all, the location. I’m living in that concrete jungle where dreams are made of, nothing you can’t do… I go down to visit my cousins in the Jersey suburbs and to my boyfriend’s family in the beach areas of Long Island. But the scenery descriptions had me clamoring for a trip to somewhere along the Hudson.

Side note: I read Nuts last weekend while I was visiting my parents (read: not in NY anymore). So I’m chilling there, reading this, and dying to start planning a trip to the Hudson with my boyfriend. Then Sunday morning he texts me, and guess where he’s going with his brother today?! Yup. Ugh, the FOMO.

It didn’t necessarily have me wanting to pack my bags, because hello, I can get 3 thick and gooey grilled cheeses with a side of $0.50 bacon delivered to my door while I’m Netflix binging at 3 am. And I’m not sure Seamless is something I can give up until I’ve become 235% more domestic.

But it did make me want to cash in my vacation days and get away to go pick apples or something (that I would promptly trade in to go eat pop tarts – it’s all about the experience, right?).

Then there was the lumbersexualness. And I’m not just talking about Leo. All of it. The romance was all so outdoorsy! Sex outside! Sex in the lake! Is that what camping is like? I may be able to get behind that (if I had a tent like Tom Haverford). 😉

As per usual with Alice Clayton, there’s also tons of witty banter and pop culture references, two of my most favoritest things. (She says, with a Gilmore Girls season 5 DVD pop culture guide sitting next to her.)

For example, best line ever:

“Oh, go smoke a bowl, Mother!”

And I love the creative nicknames like “Sugar Snap” and “Farmer Boy.” I hate ones like “honey” and “babe,” in real life but especially in books. You know my term of endearment for my boyfriend for the past 7 years? Dino, because he sucks at technology and acts like an old man sometimes, so he’s a dinosaur.

Since I can’t decide where to cut off the fangirl, let’s just go through some of the highlights and notes in my Kindle:

  • Looooved the little bit of the Redhead series in there. I now dream of them giving up Hollywood and moving to Bailey Falls by the time the Hudson Valley series wraps up. (Spoiler alert? 😉 )
  • Roxie singing on her cross-country trip – Me is she. She is me. We are one.
  • Roxie loses points for not being sure if “No Day But Today” is from RENT or not.
  • Chad Bowman – I’m sorry, the Chad Bowman – is amazing.
  • Some of this feels so wonderfully Stars Hollow. Especially, Mrs. Sherman – Mrs. Patty married one of her many husbands twice, too!
  • Gotta love super subtle Dirty Dancing references! Get out of her dance space, Leo.
  • I just Googled Almanzo and damn. I wish I liked Little House.

That’s not all, but it gives you an idea. This book brought out the crazy in me.

The one thing that didn’t hit it for me was the food, but that has nothing to do with the book and everything to do with me. Because I’ve never had a normal relationship with food. Basically, most foods make me nervous and nauseated. So after a few close calls and dry heaves, I learned to skip over the food passages. 🙁 I don’t know much about foods not on my safe list, so I probably wouldn’t have gotten the jokes and stuff anyway.

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About Alice Clayton:

New York Times Best Selling author ALICE CLAYTON worked in the cosmetics industry for over a decade before picking up a pen (read: laptop).

She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up, and has finally convinced her long-time boyfriend to marry her.

Now, about that Bernese Mountain dog.

People Magazine says of Alice:

Clayton is a master at balancing heart, humor and plenty of action between the sheets.

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