Review: The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn

Posted 3 April, 2015 in Reviews / 0 Comments

Review: The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan QuinnTitle: The Virgin Romance Novelist
Genres: Comedy, Contemporary Romance, Romantic Comedy
Release Date: April 2, 2015
Amazon (affiliate link) • Goodreads

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Disclosure: I received a review copy of this book for free in exchange for an honest review. Read more

About The Virgin Romance Novelist:

Her bosom heaved at an alarming rate as his rough hand found its way down to her soft, yet wiry briar patch...

Can you say briar patch in a romance novel? What about meat sword? That’s what it is…a meat sword, right, all meaty and sword like, slaying through the inner dungeons of a woman’s dark desires. What about breasts? Do bosoms really heave?

God, I have no idea what happens when private parts touch.

I’m a virgin trying to write a romance novel and can’t seem to write past a sex scene thanks to my lack of experience.

My two best friends encourage me to drop the pen for a while and gain some real life practice through multiple dating facets such as blind dates, online profiles, and random hookups.

But losing my virginity is proving to be tougher than expected…

My Review:

Oh. My. Fucking. Fuck.

This book was HILARIOUS. I have a pretty high bar for comedy (I like to think it’s because I’m so damn hilarious myself), and this book exceeded it by leaps and bounds. It takes a lot for a book to make me laugh out loud. Not even laugh, but make any sort of sound showing amusement. But Meghan had me laughing so hard I was snorting and crying.

I think Meghan may be the love child of all of my favorite funny authors combined. Just forget about the logistics that would actually involved in 11 female authors having a baby together. It’s much more pleasant that way.

And the things this girl got into! Poor Rosy. Girls like her are why I’m smart enough to never, ever get a Brazilian. Between Tara Sivec’s one waxing scene, and this book, I’ve decided that I really like waxing scenes, which makes me sound like a perv, but whatever. Nothing is as pleasurable as reading about other a fictional character’s hilarious pain.

Humor aside, there were things about the book that I didn’t love:

  • Rosie was “innocent” to the point of stupidity. With friends like she has, who talk so openly about sex, I just couldn’t honestly believe Rosie new literally nothing about sex and romance. I get the fact that she likes historical romances, which portray things differently. But she just didn’t know enough. It was as if she’d never gossiped with friends, watched a romantic movie, or read a romantic contemporary book, ever.
  • There were some really bad euphemisms in here. I looooove nicknames for our private parts. If we sat in a circle and played that game where you each have to name something, and people who hesitate are “out,” I would never lose as long as we were naming nicknames for a penis. But some of the terms used in this book were so bad. And so gross. One euphemism I despise is, “lady folds.” And not only was that the most frequently used nickname for va-jay-jay, but Rosie would also throw a lot of personification in there, and lady folds clapping and flapping (literally, both of these things were mentioned more than once) is not something I want to read about.

And to an extent, I really related to Rosie. I’ve been trying to put a new adult “novella thing” together forever, but can’t get past the sex scenes. My experience is limited, in an odd way, and I feel like that impacts it. I totally felt her discomfort while writing, trying to come up with the right language, and stuff like that.

Also, there’s no way to go into detail about this without a major spoiler, but this book had my favorite trope ever. If you read this blog a lot, you can probably guess what it is. So sorry for spoiling. 😛

So despite feeling like Rosie knew less about dating, sex, and romance than someone who hadn’t ever been out in public, ever, and hating the way she talked about it, I still loved this book hard. 😀

About Meghan Quinn:

When I was in high school I occasionally read books but was consumed by other teenage things so I didn’t take the time to appreciate a good book on a cloudy day, wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. It wasn’t until I received a Kindle for Christmas one year that my world completely flipped upside down. When looking for books I came across the Contemporary Romance genre and was sold and I haven’t turned back since.

You can either find my head buried in my Kindle, listening to inspiring heart ripping music or typing away on the computer twisting and turning the lives of my characters while driving my readers crazy with anticipation.

​I currently reside in beautiful Colorado Springs where the sun is always shining and there is a trail waiting to be hiked on every corner. I share a lovely and warm home with the love of my life and my five, four-legged children.

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