So when I saw the title for this book and series, I knew I had to read it. I work in social media. I put my Twitter handle on my graduation cap and livetweeted the commencement ceremony. I have to keep a portable phone charger in my purse because I post so much that my battery now lasts about 2 hours, even with the screen off. So yeah, I one-clicked this before I even read the description.
Series: Social Media (#1)
Author: J.A. Huss
Rating: 4 social stars
Recommended for: social media addicts, expert Facebook stalkers, the Insta-famous, and dirty talkers (Look! I made a rhyme!)
I fuck them. I use them. I pay them off. I find another. My demands are never denied. My contracts are always signed. They submit to me. Willingly. Completely. Temporarily. This is how it’s always been.
Until I saw that filthy tweet.
@VaughnAsher My bare pussy. Your tongue. #ThingsIThinkAboutToGetOff
“FilthyBlueBird” thinks she can tease me with hashtags and then hide behind a Twitter handle?
She thinks I wouldn’t be more than happy to #RockHerFilthyWorld? She’s wrong. Her online fantasy is about to collide with her public reality, and it’s about to happen… now.
My name is Grace Kinsella and I’m a filthy tweeter.
I can turn a hundred and forty characters into living sex. I can string words together in a way that will make you wet your panties with lust. I can make a man blush before he even gets to the hashtag. I am famous for pithy filth.
In fact, my girlfriends and I have an online Facebook group called the Filthy Blue Birds. And we’re not the only ones. The world of pithy filth is booming, friends. There are endless groups like ours. There are legions of shy girls who come alive when faced with the hundred-and-forty-character challenge. And there is a very special place online where we meet, challenging each other to achieve a new level of smexy typing.
I call that Twitter list Dirty Heaven. I made it up, like literally I’m the freaking founder. So Dirty Heaven is my kingdom and I’m the queen.
I’ll stop here to take a bow.
Besides being a list, Dirty Heaven is an online competition that happens on Twitter every Saturday night across the world—yes, we have filthy tweeters from all walks of life. At 8 PM Eastern the FT’s come alive and each league puts up their best and brightest. You get one tweet, one hashtag, and one chance to shine.
I don’t win anymore, it’s simply not fair. I’m now the judge. But back when we were first putting this together my tweets took me to Dirty Heaven time after time after time. That’s back when we used to have the competitions nightly and the group was small. Just fifteen or twenty of my closest online stranger friends. Each competition we had an online muse and we took turns choosing who would benefit from our blush-inducing prose. Sometimes the girls picked models or rock stars.
I only ever had one muse and his name is Vaughn Asher.
Yes, the Vaughn Asher. A Hollywood legend. He started out in the boy band 2 Far Out, then when his angelic voice changed as he hit puberty he graduated into Disney sitcoms. Most child actors would fade after that, never able to make the transition. But Vaughn Asher doubled down on the workouts—gaining the title of Most Envied Body in Hollywood six years in a row from Buzz Hollywood Magazine—and the preteen wannabe turned into an action-hero heartthrob overnight.
Just thinking his name makes me sigh. He’s so freaking gorgeous. That messy dark hair that makes him look like he just rolled out of bed. Those tight abs that just make you want to drag your tongue all over them to see if they taste as good as they look. And that package, boy. He’s never done any nudes so I have to use my imagination, but my imagination is vivid. I have a very clear picture.
Besides, you know what they say about a man’s thumbs, right? Well, Vaughn Asher has incredible thumbs. And large feet. They say that too.
Yes, doing filthy things to his six-foot-two frame has been my idea of Dirty Heaven for almost three years now. I’d like to say I’ve said everything imaginable about him, but that’s not true. I never run out of ideas. It’s like my brain only exists to compose a one-hundred-and-forty-character sentence that will turn him red.
That’s my fantasy. That’s my fairy tale. Vaughn Asher doing things to me that can only be said in a hashtag.
So this wasn’t at all what I was expecting, but I still liked it. I think one of my biggest complaints about this book might be that the description gives you a very different idea of what the book is going to be about.
If I had known there would be a dom/sub element, for example, I would have read it when I was in a different mood. But, like I said, I still liked it.
I was expecting more of a social media aspect, rather than it being one of Grace’s hobbies that you don’t even really see. I was expecting to love Vaughn Asher.
I totally loved the fantasy meets reality aspect, though. Seeing Grace encounter something she’d built up in her head for years and coming to terms with the fact that reality is not fantasy.
That’s something I struggle with a lot, though on a smaller scale. You make plans to go out with your friends for your birthday and keep thinking, “This is going to be epic! We’re all going to look amazing, the drinks are going to be delicious, boys are going to go crazy for us, the DJ will play our favorite songs, and we will dance awesomely all night!” And then…womp, womp, womp.
So yeah, fantasy and expectations and anticipation call all be a huge megabitch.
What I didn’t like so much? Another weird dom/sub relationship, where dom is synonymous with asshole and sub is synonymous with wishy-washy and insecure, and the all-important contract makes no appearance.
Will I read the next one? Probably.
About J.A. Huss
J. A. Huss likes to write new adult books that make you think and keep you guessing. Her favorite genre to read is space opera, but since practically no one reads those books, she writes new adult science fiction, paranormal romance, contemporary romance, urban fantasy, and books about Junco (who refuses to be saddled with a label).
She has an undergraduate degree in horses, (yes, really–Thank you, Colorado State University) and a master’s degree in forensic toxicology from the University of Florida. She used to have a job driving around Colorado doing pretty much nothing but shooting the breeze with farmers, but now she just writes, runs the New Adult Addiction and Clean Teen Reads Book Blogs, and runs an online science classroom for homeschoolers.